Forever Changed

Before I had children I was pessimistic, grouchy. I was gruff, grumpy, always had something to complain about. If there wasn't anything to worry about , I'd find something and dwell on it. Most of it was in a bit of a sarcastic manner so I don't think I was that horrible to be around. I think most of my friends thought it was kinda funny. I had been that way since I was a little kid. When I was 4 I used to go around with my fist up in the air telling people I was going to "pound them"  I know, lovely right? I was the product of a broken home at an early age so I think I was a little angry.
 
Well I have realized that I have COMPLETELY changed and I mean completely. The moment I laid eyes on my sweet baby boy my whole universe changed, everything inside me changed. Suddenly there was no way I could ever find anything to complain about or be grumpy about. I was over filled with JOY and GRATITUDE. It was amazing. It literally happened in a single instant. The way I acted my entire 30 years of life completely changed in a split second. Now, I find myself updating my facebook status everyday about how grateful I am and ordering T-shirts that say things like "YES!!" and "LOVE IS FREE". I'm just happy, truly happy! I think I drive my husband crazy half the time with my ridiculously happy outlook on everything!!! HA!!!
 
Having children was a revelation for me. Immediately I thought to myself, "what was I doing my life before I had kids?" For me having children has been the single most important, amazing, life altering experience I've ever had. Suddenly I knew my purpose. I knew what I was always meant to do. I was full. All those unanswered questions  about what I should really be doing with my life were answered in an instant. I WAS MEANT TO BE A MOTHER. period.
 


I am grateful, SO GRATEFUL for every moment of everyday,  for these kids and my husband and this life I have been given.I feel like my life just only truly began with the birth of my kids.  I love it. I love my life. I love that God gave me these beautiful little beings who changed me forever in the best way I can imagine. They gave me the true meaning of my life. They let me experience the true meaning of real joy.
 
Over the past few days for some reason I have had this on my heart and I wanted to share it with you all. I had wrist surgery on Tuesday. I am healing but the proceedure was a little more involved than we had hoped so it's slow going and I'm not sure how long it might be until I can cook again so my wonderful friend Lindsay at Lee La La suggested I do a post about what's on my heart and I'm so glad I did. Thanks for listening friends. I hope to be back to cooking up a storm in no time!!

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22 comments:

The Balch Bunch said...

love this

Lindsay said...

I love this! SO true and just what I needed to hear today! LOVE you sweet friend. Hang in there.

Melynda said...

Hanna, I have read your blog for some time now, always thinking that you were such a beautiful woman. But today's post echoes my own feeling, from those many years ago and having just held my first newborn. The love of birthing and caring for babies and the process of becoming "mother" sparks that internal glow that the world had simply not noticed prior, but now shines bright! Have a great day my friend.

Jodi said...

thank you for sharing.. I hope you have a wonderful day and heal quickly from your surgery!

Kittie Howard said...

Beautiful! And your happiness is contagious. Thank you for sharing. I hope your wrist heals soonest. Hugs!

Karen ~ lillybelle designs said...

Hi Hanna ~ I hope your feeling better! I'm so glad I read your blog entry today. My daughter and I have been having a rough go of it this week, and your post made me stop, take a deep breath, smile, and then went and gave her a HUGE hug. There really isn't anything more fulfilling than being a Mom ~ through good times and bad times ~ a mother's love for her children is indescribable. Thanks, my friend!! :)

PoetessWug said...

Sorry to hear about your wrist surgery. :-( But as you see, a hand may be out of commission, but our brains go on and on and on! :-)

kinze said...

perfectly saud ... coming from casey's link up .. and i'm lovin' your blog!

Yummy Mummy said...

You are so inspiring and make me want to be a better (less grumpy) person and mom. I confess I DO get grumpy after a long day of meeting demands of 1 and 4 year olds. I am going to try to have your positive outlook in those stressful times. xo

HALLELUJAHS by Holly said...

I love it! Hallelujah! It amazes me the gifts that God gives us in being a mother. The insurmountable gratitude can never fully be explained (although you put it quite nicely!!!). Forever changed...thank you Lord!

Thanks for sharing your heart! You are amazing!

Big hugs bloggy friend,
Holly

HALLELUJAHS by Holly said...

Oh and hoping your wrist heals quickly! A wrist that doesn't work, now that is tricky with wee ones around. Thinking of you! :)

Melissa said...

Your post is wonderful!
You do such a great job with your children, your work, your cooking, I really enjoy reading all of your posts!

Hope your wrist feels better soon!

Myers said...

Absolutely love this post. Everyone needs to read this.

Marnie said...

Great post! I have a beautiful daughter and I love her more than anything. She has changed me for the better too.

songbyrd on the mountain said...

I have the Joy Joy Joy Joy down in my heart! That's what I started humming as I read this post. What a great thing to possess and to know you have it. Keep on keeping on!!

Tatiana said...

Oh Hanna you speak such truth! I was just saying today how my own little girly makes me a better person. Being a mommy is the most wonderful thing that has ever happened to me too. Even during the hard days, I'm a happier human being thanks to her.
You're such a great momma :-)

Theresa said...

I love that you took the time to share this! I too had a little bit of a rough start in life and a few years ago realized that I have a choice and chose positivity! Thanks for sharing:)
Theresa

Leanne said...

"When I was 4 I used to go around with my fist up in the air telling people I was going to "pound them" - Haha, I giggled at this. Simply because THAT was pretty much me when I was a kid, too :P

Although I can't really relate with the rest (I'm 24- no kids), this was a beautiful post and it brought a little smile to my face.

You sound like a wonderful mom! (And cook, of course! Ha).

mienkintoshfairie said...

Wow, i'm inspired now. I do not have children, and might not have any due to complications and such, but you inspire me to dream. That maybe I might be able to have some if i'm healthy enough!

The Cantelmo Family said...

I am a lot like you. I feel like I became alive when I had kids. They are such a blessing to me and my entire outlook changed :)

Kristy said...

LOVE this story!!!! I relate SO much!! I didn't truly know what "I wanted to be when I grew up" until I became a mom!!!!

Ranches 2nd Ward said...

Holy SMOKES! I am SO glad you linked up and I discovered your blog! I {HUGE} HEART IT! I adore what you said about being a mother and I feel the exact same way. Thanks so much for sharing. Good luck with your recovery! I am your newest follower :)

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