Before I had children I was pessimistic, grouchy. I was gruff, grumpy, always had something to complain about. If there wasn't anything to worry about , I'd find something and dwell on it. Most of it was in a bit of a sarcastic manner so I don't think I was that horrible to be around. I think most of my friends thought it was kinda funny. I had been that way since I was a little kid. When I was 4 I used to go around with my fist up in the air telling people I was going to "pound them" I know, lovely right? I was the product of a broken home at an early age so I think I was a little angry.
Well I have realized that I have COMPLETELY changed and I mean completely. The moment I laid eyes on my sweet baby boy my whole universe changed, everything inside me changed. Suddenly there was no way I could ever find anything to complain about or be grumpy about. I was over filled with JOY and GRATITUDE. It was amazing. It literally happened in a single instant. The way I acted my entire 30 years of life completely changed in a split second. Now, I find myself updating my facebook status everyday about how grateful I am and ordering T-shirts that say things like "YES!!" and "LOVE IS FREE". I'm just happy, truly happy! I think I drive my husband crazy half the time with my ridiculously happy outlook on everything!!! HA!!!
Having children was a revelation for me. Immediately I thought to myself, "what was I doing my life before I had kids?" For me having children has been the single most important, amazing, life altering experience I've ever had. Suddenly I knew my purpose. I knew what I was always meant to do. I was full. All those unanswered questions about what I should really be doing with my life were answered in an instant. I WAS MEANT TO BE A MOTHER. period.
I am grateful, SO GRATEFUL for every moment of everyday, for these kids and my husband and this life I have been given.I feel like my life just only truly began with the birth of my kids. I love it. I love my life. I love that God gave me these beautiful little beings who changed me forever in the best way I can imagine. They gave me the true meaning of my life. They let me experience the true meaning of real joy.
Over the past few days for some reason I have had this on my heart and I wanted to share it with you all. I had wrist surgery on Tuesday. I am healing but the proceedure was a little more involved than we had hoped so it's slow going and I'm not sure how long it might be until I can cook again so my wonderful friend Lindsay at Lee La La suggested I do a post about what's on my heart and I'm so glad I did. Thanks for listening friends. I hope to be back to cooking up a storm in no time!!