It's been brewing for some months now. When I asked my husband, he said 4 months to be exact.
I'm burning out. I cannot continue to work 4 twelve hour shifts graveyard shifts plus take care of two kids, train for a marathon, run a blog, and keep up with the house. Yes, my husband is wonderful and does many of the domestic things but I NEED more time with My family. I've needed it for a long time but I can't take it anymore.
I am considering applying for a position that can go in conjunction with my current job and maybe I can still work overtime but just less at each place. It might really help spread out the stress.
WHAT ELSE CHANGED?
Well, Have you noticed my "followers" widget is GONE!!!
YUP! GONE!!!! !
NO MORE FOLLOWER!!!!!
You know even since I started blogging almost 2 years ago that's all I could seem to obsess over and it's not healthy. It hurts my feelings. It hurts my self esteem and I don't want that or need that in my life.
I feel the need to eliminate ANY negatively from my life. It's too short. My kids are one and two. They will be eighteen and nineteen in one blink and I will be so sad.
Why in the world would I waste my time worrying about weather people want to read my blog or not. It's not like I get paid to do this.
I absolutely adore the followers that I do have and I hope you stay forever but if you don't, that's okay to.
No more facebook!!!!!
Don't worry I still will be posting on my Bouffe e Bmabini page just to keep you updated with the blog but not too much personal stuff. I deleted my personal account.
Once again, I have VERY. VERY. VERY. limited time to spend with my family and do I really need to be obsessively checking my email and my facebook status every 5 seconds while my poor children are vying for my attention?????
It makes me want to cry just thinking about it and we all do it. We don't mean to. It just happens but I'm sick of it. The time with my family is far too valuable to let anything else that is not healhty for me get in the way!!!
NO MORE FACEBOOK.....and I mean for good!!!!
I also just want to say that this was not meant to be a negative post in any way. I just wanted to let you know where I was at. I'm busy trying to find work that can allow me more time with my family because that truly in the end is the ONLY thing that matters.
My running is the most beautiful outlet I have ever found and I hope to teach my kids to run someday too.
I just want to be good.
I want to be pure.
I want to do the right thing.
I want to do what my heart tells me to do and there are so many obstacles in the way I feel like I am drowning sometimes.
SO SOMETHING HAS TO CHANGE!!!! and I will make it change.