CHANGE....It's Heavy on My Heart!!!!!



CHANGE!!!! 

It's been brewing for some months now. When I asked my husband, he said 4 months to be exact. 

I'm burning out. I cannot continue to work 4 twelve hour shifts graveyard shifts plus take care of two kids, train for a marathon, run a blog, and keep up with the house. Yes, my  husband is wonderful and does many of the domestic things but I NEED more time with My family. I've needed it for a long time but I can't take it anymore. 

I am considering applying for a position that can go in conjunction with my current job and maybe I can still work overtime but just less at each place. It might really help spread out the stress. 

WHAT ELSE CHANGED?

Well, Have you noticed my "followers" widget is GONE!!! 

YUP! GONE!!!! !

NO MORE FOLLOWER!!!!!

You know even since I started blogging almost 2 years ago that's all I could seem to obsess over and it's not healthy. It hurts my feelings. It hurts my self esteem and I don't want that or need that in my life.

 I feel the need to eliminate ANY negatively from my life. It's too short. My kids are one and two. They will be eighteen and nineteen in one blink and I will be so sad. 

Why in the world would I waste my time worrying about weather people want to read my blog or not. It's not like I get paid to do this. 

I absolutely adore the followers that I do have and I hope you stay forever but if you don't, that's okay to. 


WHAT ELSE?

No more facebook!!!!! 

Don't worry I still will be posting on my Bouffe e Bmabini page just to keep you updated with the blog but not too much personal stuff. I deleted my personal account. 

Once again, I have VERY. VERY. VERY. limited time to spend with my family and do I really need to be obsessively checking my email and my facebook status every 5 seconds while my poor children are vying for my attention????? 

NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!

It makes me want to cry just thinking about it and we all do it. We don't mean to. It just happens but I'm sick of it. The time with my family is far too valuable to let anything else that is not healhty for me get in the way!!! 

NO MORE FACEBOOK.....and I mean for good!!!! 



I also just want to say that this was not meant to be a negative post in any way. I just wanted to let you know where I was at. I'm busy trying to find work that can allow me more time with my family because that truly in the end is the ONLY thing that matters. 

My running is the most beautiful outlet I have ever found and I hope to teach my kids to run someday too.

 I just want to be good. 
I want to be pure. 
I want to do the right thing. 
I want to do what my heart tells me to do and there are so many obstacles in the way I feel like I am drowning sometimes.



SO SOMETHING HAS TO CHANGE!!!! and I will make it change.
 




T-Shirt: {BLUE PLATYPUS}
Jeans: 7 For All Mankind
Shoes: Steve Madden



Three was a FANTASTIC ARTICLE ON E Tells Tales that was similar to  my feelings, except she went ahead and did away with her followers and her comments. SO inspiring!!! 
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19 comments:

C.LEE said...

Good for you mama! Your kids will love you for it! I battle with the same thing, balancing it all. This blogging thing is for me and sharing my joy of motherhood. I have had so many positive experiences because of it! But like you said, it all needs to be balanced because our little ones are what matter THE VERY MOST! I look up to you so much for standing up for what you believe to be right for your family. I adore you! And man alive woman, you look so good!!! xoxo

Beth Ann said...

YAY! Good for you, girl! I think this will be GREAT for you! I cannot even begin to conceive of how you do it all and you do not need the distraction of social media on top of everything. GOOD FOR YOU!

As for the followers, YES! Absolutely doesn't make sense to be obsessing over it. At the end of the day, it really doesn't mean anything...but your family does.

I hope that you will find a job that consumes less of your time. What about day shift? Then at least you would have REAL days off during which you wouldn't be exhausted and/or sleeping. I know dayshift is usually quite a paycut though...

Elizabeth from E Tells Tales does allow comments on her blog posts from time to time now. I think her hiatus from them gave her some perspective. I recently gave up facebook and pinterest for "lent" and it was good for me.

Your babies are only going to be this little once...I hope everything works out and that you get to spend as much time as possible with them!

Lindsay said...

Good for you girl. I to, put way to much emphasis on the followers. I got rid of it and it's almost a relief. You did the right thing :)

Char said...

I want to echo EVERY SINGLE WORD C. Lee said. I agree!! You HAVE to do what is right for you and your family. Your family is obviously the most important thing in your life and it should be. I totally look up to you so much. I may not comment as much as I want to (another busy mama with ridiculous work hours and not enough time for things) but never fear, I'm following you and sending you good vibes from over here. You are truly an inspiration to so many people, as well as your children. Keep doing what you do. My philosophy: If you are able to reach out to one person and change the way they think about one thing, then I have accomplished a good deed. Love you!! XOXOX

melody-mae said...

I applaud you. You have taken a stand for your family and there is nothing sweeter than that!

SueAnn Lommler said...

I sure can understand. A person needs to accept their limitations. You have cried "uncle" and have done something about it. So I applaud you for sure!
And I mean, if you kept up with that schedule...we would never be able to meet for lunch!! Ha!!
Hope that time is soon.
Hugs
SueAnn

Cat J B said...

Wooo, looking hot, mama!

I've wondered how you do all that you do and I agree, the web can be an enormous time sucker. I deleted my facebook account some time back too. It drains me, knowing everything about everyone I've ever met and I just don't need it.

Enjoy those cute babies you have :)

Rita and John said...

What a great decision! Thank you for letting us follow along. Love your outfit--and so exciting that you've found this passion for running! Good luck in the marathon!

LolitaRose said...

I can't remember how I found your blog, and it wasn't that long ago, but you are one of the most inspiring people I've ever gotten the chance to "know", even if just through your blog. Good for you for taking a stand to spend more time with your family, and for knowing when it's time to call it quits. Best of luck :) You deserve the best!

Susan Liberatore said...

Hanna,
Good on you for doing what you think is most important for your family. You are an inspiration.
And I won't mention how H-O-T you look in these photos. Hello!

Heather said...

I use Google Reader to read you posts and at the end when you mentioned deleted comments I panicked a bit and RUSHED over to your actual site. Phew! I can still comment.

I have been thinking a lot lately about things I want to change too. It's hard to fit it all in and you're right; the most important things NEED to come first. I'm happy that you're still blogging because you truly are an inspiration but you do what you gotta do! If the posts become more spread out--don't worry. We'll still be here when you come back :)

Cara said...

I've noticed a LOT of bloggers are taking time out lately - myself definitely included. It feels like everyone is spring cleaning their lives, taking time to reassess and refresh what's important to them.

I felt very, very, very angry and upset that people weren't reading my blog. But you know what? Who gives a hoot! People can either love it or hate it, I'll keep writing and even if my two family members are my only audience, that's all that matters.

I recently took a blogging break, though, because I felt so angry all the time. I can tell you that did wonders. In my break I spent less time on-line, less time on Facebook and to be honest I don't miss it. I'm glad you got rid of the followers widget - I go through periods of having it there or not - because I often think it really effects what we write.


Your family is without a doubt the most important thing.

Tiffany said...

Way to go to (1) recognize that changes need to happen and then (2) actually do something about that. Stay strong!

Kelly | Eat Yourself Skinny said...

Ohh good for you, I'm so proud of you!!! Putting your family first is always the most important thing, your followers aren't going anywhere and you will continue to gain new ones! :) And you are doing a fabulous job on your training!!!! Girl you are just shrinking by the minute, I'm rooting for you!!!

Melissa W. said...

Again...

YOU GO GIRL!!!

You rock...and you are one sexy momma, too!!

I did away with facebook at the beginning of this year and it was one of the BEST things I ever did. I didn't realize how much negatively it affected my life until it was gone!! I am so glad to be rid of fb. I love blogging and you are one of my favorites to follow SO don't ever stop & don't ever doubt yourself!!

Karen - lillybelle Custom Designs said...

Hi Hanna ~ I'm so proud of you! I hope that there is good news very soon about your job situation. Spending time with your beautiful children and wonderful husband is all that really matters. You are a great role model ... remember that! I will support you in any way possible, dear friend ... XOXO

jenette or more commonly known as "j" said...

LOVE LOVE LOVE <3 the shoes!!!!! Such a brilliant and motivating post. Life is too short to waste the pretty and not live in the moment. Be with whom you love and care about - and that is family, your hubby and cute cute kiddies! Running is my release, LOVE it!

Marnie said...

Hi Hanna! Good for you, making positive changes. I do the same thing too in my personal life. I make a habit of not reading the newspaper or watching the evening news as they are super negative and can play on your mind during the day. I do the same thing with people, and things that are negative or take away from my personal well-being.


I would like to delete my Facebook account too but I have it linked to my business page, so I think if I were to delete the account, my business page would be gone too.

Karm said...

go you!!
I also deleted my Facebook, and no longer have a cellphone... and I spend every minute with my sons... and I think they love it more.

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