Dear Diary






Life has been looking up,



With the transition to the day shift, I have already felt my spirits and my sanity improve one hundred fold in only one week's time. I have more energy. My stress and anxiety levels seem lower. I am sleeping 7 or  8 hours everyday. I am Happier and my kids seem to be too.



I'm feeling especially connected to my husband recently, remembering why we are together, why I married him, why we have 2 gorgeous children together, and so grateful to know I get to spend the rest of my days with him.



I've really been missing my brother. As with many tragedies in my life, I try to pretend they never happened so I don't have feel the pain on a daily basis but that kind of coping only works for so long. I've been dreaming of him and thinking of him a lot lately. I miss him so much I get sick to my stomach knowing I will never know him in this lifetime again. There are no words for me to describe how loosing him makes me feel. There never will be.



The love I have for my children grows more and more everyday. I come home and see those shining faces and can't understand how I got so blessed to be their mother. How could I possibly be the mother to these beautiful souls? I look at them in awe. Their beauty amazes me everyday.



I've been feeling guilty about the way I treat my mother sometimes. She is my rock.She is the only thing I've got.  She loves my kids so much and they love her. she does everything for them and for us and I still manage to get exhausted enough to snap at her now and then and it;s not fair and she doesn't deserve it. 



Even though I have not been back to running yet, I am feeling extremely healthy. I am eating really well and my weight has never been better. I know that when I start back running I am going to glide through the air loving every single second. I know I will be so much more grateful and cautious. My husband and I already have 2 5K races planned to run TOGETHER. L*O*V*E.

My life is changing is beautiful, and  unexpected ways and I am really happy right now, really grateful! 
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13 comments:

C.LEE said...

I am so glad to hear how happy you are and that the changes you have made have been successful! Change is good huh?! I adore you!!! xoxo

Danielle said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Danielle said...

glad to hear you are happy! change is good! your smile is contagious!

Tatiana said...

Loved this post Hanna! You deserve to be happy. I'm so excited and glad that things are looking up. And amen to switching over to day shift. That alone will solve 1/2 of your life problems :-)

Christy said...

So glad things are looking up for you!! May it continue!! You look super cute too. Your husband is a lucky guy to have you!

And sounds like you may be converting the hubs to running?! Yay!!

Char said...

You are so gorgeous! So great to see you so happy :)

Terri said...

You are looking amazing! Great post. I have been newly RE-in-love with my husband, too...isn't it great?

SueAnn Lommler said...

So nice to hear how wonderful things are going for you!! Woot!!
Hugs
SueAnn

Kristina said...

This post is so inspiring. What beautiful words plus you look outstanding and beautifully happy!

Lindsay said...

What a perfect summer outfit! LOVE!

REBrown said...

I love the floppy sun hat!

I'm glad things are going so well.

Mindee and Austin said...

hana I love your optimism and good heart! these pictures are beautiful of you woman, your outfit is one of my favorites you have worn! cute hat. your a good mom and wife, it really shows! im glad your doing great, and keep positive, thats what gets us through this life!

Carolyn said...

You look as pretty as your happy outfit. Here's to better days. I'm sorry about your brother. I'm glad things are looking up a bit for you. One minute at a time....

Carolyn http://sillyhappysweet.blogspot.com

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