It has been 5 weeks since I haven't run a single step in my shoes. Last night my body told me to try and run so I did. I ran one very slow mile and then I stopped!
The injury keeping me out of running for 5 weeks equaled PURE agony in my eyes.
I truly underestimated the power of what running 40 miles a week had brought to me mentally.
At a time in my life when we are facing bankruptcy, having enough gas to make it to work, negative checking accounts and not enough diapers, I really and truly NEEDED those endorphins to keep me going.
I knew that running made ME feel good but I had no idea what would happen if one it was to all be taken away from me. It was my lifeline, my crutch. When I was stressed, I'd run, sad, run, happy, run, angry, run.
It didn't matter what it was, running emotionally "fixed" it enough for me to be able to handle. I grew very dependent on it and didn't realize how much so. I spent a lot of time in my shrink's office over the last month sure I was having a nervous breakdown.
I also learned A HUGE lesson!!!!!!
DON'T BE GREEDY!
I was so so so greedy with my running. I would train the perfect number of days in a week and then I would always add on 20 extra "junk" miles. WHY?
Because I was greedy
I wanted to be faster, I wanted to be able to run longer and be less fatigues.
I just wanted to be able to perform as a better athlete faster.
Well guess what? That mentality will get you to only one place.
Just now I am coming out on the other side on my injury. After I ran one slow mile a few days ago I did have pain again so I will go for a bone scan on Friday to diagnose fully. I do feel it is almost healed though. I will tell you I have never in my entire life been so grateful to run one slow mile!!!!!!
Almost made me cry!
I learned that being out with an injury certainly won't kill you, in fact it forced me to deal with some things I wouldn't have otherwise.
I realized the importance of cross training. I immediate fell in love with spinning and I love it!!!! I will keep it as a cross trainer at least once or twice a week. I also started swimming which is great.
Being injured has taught me to respect my body. Sure, it wasn't like I purposely ran myself into the ground but I could have been a lot more careful and a lot less greedy and I probably would have ran that marathon.
SO where does that leave me?
Life long dream still not accomplished!!! DRAT!!!!
I've lost 7 pounds of muscle. For the first time in my life I weigh in the 120's. I've NEVER and I mean NEVER weighed in the 120's. I guess I shouldn't be complaining:)
Great news. I have found a life long love in running and know there will be many, many, many more marathons for me to run!!!!
So, this time I will start out very slow and very cautious on my journey to marathon runner! I will humbly take a backseat to my body and let it do the talking!!!!