Broken but not Dead

I feel like over the past few months I have been slowly but surely breaking down. The job, The money, The family stress, my loneliness, my broken bone, the decrease in my ability to preform as an athlete. It;s all been leading up to last  week's total breakdown post

Well, my spirit my be damaged, but it is NOT DEAD!! 

IN FACT IT MAY BE ON FIRE!!!!!! 

So Today I ban the fatigue, the nausea, the loneliness, the grouchiness, the negative.

All I know is that I will achieve my goals one tiny step at a time even with a broken leg. 

QUADS OF STEEL HERE I COME. 
Pregnancy is no excuse....it's just a lovely little reminder of why I want to make my life better.


So this morning I woke headed to my usual spin class only to be derailed by road closures and a shut down gym. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

So I paid 10 dollars and went the "fancy private club" I didn't think it was worth it AT ALL.

I took the spin class. I was the youngest one there. I definitely felt a few eyes on me and I'm just thinking, you know I'm 7 weeks pregnant with my 3rd child , I'm married and about to declare bankruptcy so I got a lot of baggage if you catch my drift! TAKEN. DON'T LOOK OVER HERE!!!

Mainly men 65+ which is fine. Hey more power to ya. Just not quiet my scene. 

Small, stuffy room, no light. yuck


SO I did 60 min spin class, some free weights, some squats and then I RACED home so I could throw up! TMI. I know sorry but that happens when you follow a pregnant ladies blog. 

Hoping this will subside soon. It's interfering with my workouts.

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4 comments:

wildliked.com said...

Hanna, I'm sending you tons of love and good, happy thoughts from my neck of the desert! Chin up girl, you're strong, every struggle that you have to go through will just make you that much stronger! In 5 years, you'll look back on this time of your life and be thankful for the lessons that the universe threw your way. Congrats on baby #3! Yay!

Jessie K said...

Hey, I'm sorry to hear you're having it so rough. I also am a completely negative person and am totally convinced that's the "real" me when I'm pregnant! And then the pregnancy is over and I realize that's not the case at all! I know it's rough, hang in there!

We also were in financial straits not too long ago. At one point we were $150,000 in debt, including 8 months behind on rent (our landlord was extremely nice obviously!), $40,000 overdrawn at the bank (we were in touch with the banker), and a truck we had just bought that turned out to be the worst lemon (hence the overdrawn $40,000) which we got a high interest loan for another $40,000. Then my husband started driving the same truck (somewhat fixed) in the oil fields and we've cut that debt in half in the last six months. Things are finally looking up, but for a while it was so dark and hard and like it was never ever going to end!

One last thing. Have you ever heard of Bountiful Baskets? It's a wonderful thing and helped me to set our table with fresh fruit and veggies despite our financial straits. You pay a $3 first time fee + $16 and after that it's only $16 total for a laundry basket full of fruit and veggies. Last week I got a large bunch of kale, 2 heads of broccoli, 1 head of cauliflower, 4 corn cobs, 1 celery whateveryoucallit, 1 bag of cherries, 1 cantaloupe, 6 peaches, 2 mangoes... and I can't remember what else. I think you usually get about 4-6 veggies and 4-6 fruits. The downside is you don't get to pick what you get. So if you're not a fan of cauliflower or mangoes... oh well! Anyway, the website is bountiful-baskets.org if you're interested.

Lindsay said...

With this attitude you will be JUST FINE :) ADORE you!

Tamarah said...

I too am sorry that you're going through a rough patch. Don't let financial stress get the best of you. I know it's easier said than done but in all reality it's just paper. You are beautiful, you have a wonderful family and I know you will be just fine :) Hang in there girl!

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