Today I had one of the best spin classes I've ever had. It was an hour and a half long of pure speed intervals and hill climbs. I haven't had that kind brutal workout in a long time and it felt really good!!!!!
I came home in a really good mood.
Then my husband told me how much we had in our bank account and I almost threw up. I don't mean to keep bringing this up but I am stressed big time. I have been applying for other jobs that are day positions with higher pay but I am not having good luck and I am getting so frustrated!!!!! I am such a good worker. I don;t know why I am having a hard time!
I know I have to keep my chin up and keep trying but it's really getting hard. It's like I see my husband's face and my children's faces looking at me , like Mommy what are we going to do?
I DON'T KNOW!!!!!!!
I feel like the weight of the world is on my shoulders and I don't know what to do.
We need to change our spending habits even if it's small things like Parmesan cheese. It's too expensive. We can't afford it! My husband and I both are not good at this and I'm scared!
I need to change my ways. I need to try harder. I guess start doing overtime again! I will make it work. I will make it happen but I am just almost ready to give in and cry!
I had a reader ask me as a vlog question why I decided to get pregnant while we were in such financial trouble. I know it seems like a very stupid thing to do but I'm 34 and I don't want to risk being a bit older. I know woman have babies all the time over the age of 35 or even 40 but it just wasn't for me and I wanted my kids close together so it was a combination of things that made us decide to have another baby. Yes, everyone keeps telling me, including all my friends, that that wasn't the smartest decision but it is what it is and for us it was the right think to do at the time! This is only a phase. It will get better and in a few years none of this will be even be a concern but for now I'm just struggling!
Sorry for the negative post. You know I hate that but these are my real feelings today and they had to come out!