I was born the youngest child to a family of 3 children,

Naturally I believe this why I gravitated towards this number rather than 2 or 4 children in my own nuclear family. 


When I think back now to my childhood I was mainly tagging along or trying to play with the big kids who didn;t really want anything to with me but I loved it. I loved every second of Tosh teasing me and ticking me until I pee in my pants and I loved every time I made Asia cook something for me. I would beg for it and she's finally give in and make it and then I'd say it was disgusting and refuse to eat it. 

These years are so, so, so very vivid in my mind......just like it was yesterday.  My mother was a single mom starting when I was 4, my brother 7, and my sister 10. She was left  no money,. no job and 3 kids and a farm to take care of. Luckily we got out of there lickity split and we moved into town. Times were tough to say the least.

We got a one bedroom apartment. We all slept in the same room. My mom in the bed and the three of us in sleeping bags in the floor. My mom found some job working for a janitorial service and by the Grace of God, we made it okay. 

What I want to say is that the joy that my siblings brought to me at such a horrible time in our lives is priceless. I will NEVER, as long as I live forget how we had to stick together and how good it felt to know that you had someone there you could realty trust and rely on. Your brother, Your sister, They Loved you.  

AS we all began to grow and go our separate ways I really do wish we had remained just as tight as we were back in that one room apartment. We were always close and saw each other a couple times a year at holidays or what not. 

My brother, Tosh Passed away in February of 2007 in Tokyo Japan. He was 31 years old.He was living and working in Tokyo. AS a family we stopped everything and flew his bedside there in Tokyo and watching him pass. It was to  date the worst day of my life.  He comes to me often in my dreams and I miss him so much it hurts.
If our baby is a boy we will name him Tosh after my brother. 

What I want to say is that I feel so blessed that my children will get to know that same love that I knew. I felt surrounded by my siblings. Weather arguing or playing, there just insn't anything better than family and I wrote this post to show my gratitude to God for blessing  us with a 3rd baby to fit right into our family. 

 Thank you
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melody-mae said...

Ahh, I love, love, love this post! I was from a family of 3 also, only I am the oldest with two younger brothers and like you felt all along that 3 was the perfect number for the family. We went on to have 3 girls! :) You are right, there is nothing, no one who is like a sibling...when my dad was dying of cancer my husband was awesome but, my brothers??? They had been with me through it all...since we were born and no one else can come close to those memories!!! When I had our third daughter the doctor said, You just gave your girls the best gift in the world, you gave them a sister!" That was 23 years ago and I still remember that comment!!! I also, wanted to say I think it is sweet that if you have a boy his name will be your brother's name!

Erica said...

This is the exact reason I knew I wanted a large family. For 13 years I was an only child and I was sooooo lonely. I hope that my kids grow to be best friends in life!

Elizabeth said...

Oh my goodness. Hanna, I'm so sorry to hear about your brother. That is heartbreaking. I have never experienced the death of a sibling and it makes my heart just break into a million pieces just thinking about it.
Family is such a precious thing. With 12 kids in my family, times were tough and we never had any money. But the joy and love that we had-- you cannot even begin to fathom it. Today I am best friends with my siblings and they are the perfect happinesses that fill my life. I am so blessed.
Your love and your family is amazing. God Bless!

Heather said...

I love this post. It is so neat to get some insight into your childhood. I'm so sorry about your brother.

Even though I was hoping for more kids, lately I'm becoming more and more at peace with only being able to have 3. I think our family size is perfect, our kids won't be lonely but it is still small enough to be cozy.

Char said...

Thank you for sharing some of your personal life with us :) I absolutely agree, I love my brother. While it was just the two of us (biological, since I have 3 other siblings that are step but I don't usually consider them step) we were and are still so close. I value that very much. I"m sorry about your brother. Even though it may be weird, that is great he visits you in your dreams. I don't think could ever have been an only child :)

Marissa said...

Sibling love is worth a million dollars. I would not trade it for the world. My best friends are my parents and my 2 younger sisters. Your kiddos already look like best of friends, just wait when there is one more to tag and play along :-)

Jamie Campbell said...


Christy said...

I think 3 is a great number too. I'm sorry about Tosh. I have never had to go through something like that and imagine it is so tough. Naming your lil one after him is a great idea! And I love the name, "Tosh.".

Heather said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Heather said...

Three! So perfect :) There are actually 5 kids in my family but the oldest is from my mom's first marriage and the youngest was a "surprise" baby. So about 10-year gaps on either side. The three of us in the middle are just 16 and 18 months apart and it's been wonderful! I will always count those two as some of my very best friends. I know it's a lot of work for you and your hubs but your kids are SO lucky to be that close in age. I love, love, loved it!

Susan said...

I loved this post Hanna. And I'm now hoping it's a boy!!!

Yo Momma Runs said...

Great post -- straight from the heart. I can't even imagine how sad I will be when one of my siblings dies. I'm so sorry that you had to go through that at such a young age.

Laura | Bissonnette said...

I'm from a family of three, but I happen to be the only girl, and the middle child. My husband is from a family of 10. =]

Candice said...

Hi Hanna...We've been out of town and I just got all caught up on your blog. I am glad you're back to posting. You always keep it real and I love your blog.

It makes me sad to see how stressed you are about your weight. I don't think you look nearly as big as you make it out. Yes, you have gained quickly, but as you said you were at your lowest weight ever...and it seems this is just what your body does when you're pregnant. Obviously moderation is important, but I wouldn't get too worked up over this. I know you will lose the weight...and you do too! Hugs!


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