Ahhh....Bedtime,
it's my favorite time of day, not because I don't love and cherish every darn second with my kids but because it gives me a sense on C-A-L-M to finally take in the days happenings and reflect on the ups and the downs and I finally get one little ounce of "me" time.
So tonight the kids are snuggled in their beds, my husband left for a late rehearsal and it's just me.
I will probably make a hot cocoa the size of my head and drink it until my belly is warm and full and just sit still feeling this baby kick.
This morning I had a LONG cry, which lately is not unusual for me. The pregnancy hormones and my depression have gotten the best of me the past few months.
I cried this morning because I miss my husband. I want to be close to him. I want to talk to him about my feelings. I want to spend hours on the couch watching movies and snuggling like we used to. I want to go somewhere and hold hands like we used to. I want to sleep late just rolling around in bed snuggling in the morning.
I feel like it's been so many years since any of this has occurred. Sometimes I feel like I see him for 5 minuets a day and it's only to discuss
"business"
meaning the business of having children; who's getting potty trained when, who ate their lunch and who needs a snack, who had a tantrum and a fever..... what needs to be bought at the store and which couch cushions are in the washing machine because someone peed all over them.........it goes on and on. In fact it never ends.
I just miss him!
PERIOD!!!!!
I miss his warm smile with dimpled cheeks. I miss his joyful laugh. I miss his ridiculous silly behavior that will make me laugh until my sides hurt.
I MISS MY HUSBAND!!!!
I love my children and unborn child more than anything in this world but sometimes, just sometimes, I REALLY, REALLY just want my husband to myself for a little while.
We've only been on 2 dates in over 3 years. I suppose that will so it to you, huh?
I just want him to know how much I love him, I cherish him, I can't wait to grow old together(oh wait, we already are), I want to hold his hand when he's scared, I want to make him beautiful food when his soul hurts, I want to listen to him play music endlessly and watch the passion in his face as he strikes his drums.
He is mine and I am the luckiest girl in the world. Thank you God for blessing me with a truly good man!!
I MISS YOU AND I LOVE YOU PAPA MILTON!!!!
You will A-L-W-A-Y-S be "IT" for me. You always were!!!!!!
ALWAYS!!!!!!!
You can rad more about how I make my marriage work {HERE} or about how I fall in love with him everyday even after 10 years in a post {HERE}
SPECIAL POST!!!!!!!
And I have a special TREAT for you all today. I am guest blogging and telling a little more about me and my story over on a new friend's blog, Lauren Rebecca.
Number one, you *MUST* meet her
And Number two she left her special December giveaway open for US....YES, all you beautiful people, so please do me a favor, go read my chatter, meet Lauren Rebecca, and enter win like 50 million fabulous prizes while your at it.
K, GOT IT? Thanks!!!!!
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